My journey to finding faith was not just a skip, jump or leap. It was more like an ocean, on high tide drawing me in. It completely engulfed me; it did not develop in stages. It was me, completely surrendering to all that I thought I knew and to me just letting going and finally saying Y-E-S! It all began at a point of uncertainty. Uncertainty of who I was, uncertainty of where I belonged, uncertainty of where I was going. I was filling my body from head to toe with pressure of uncertainty and I was single handedly denying myself the Y-E-S. I lived in fear of what if? What if I made the wrong decision? What if I didn’t succeed? What if I wasn’t good enough? What if I was being judged? What if I was repeating the past? While I was spending so much time and energy saying no, and questioning myself, I was denying myself of the positive life I deserved so long ago. The moment I found faith, I found the answer Y-E-S! When I found YES, I found I CAN DO ANYTHING. I also found Y-E-S; You Evolve Subconsciously. I was subconsciously feeding myself so much negativity that’s how my life was evolving. Most people are scared of the ocean pulling you in because fear lives in all of us. But when you release yourself you suddenly find yourself floating above the surface. When you find faith, you find the real you. Say yes, release doubt. Forget the what ifs, forget the should have, could have, the “I can’t,” the “I won’t.” Because you CAN and you WILL, whether you choose to surrender or not. Faith will find you, maybe in small steps, or like me, pulled all at once straight into the depths of the sea. You have to release and trust that what is meant for you will always be yours. It will always find a way back to you. But most importantly, in your journey, always say yes, to yourself first and foremost. You can do this! You evolve subconsciously. The moment I found faith, I found me. Y-E-S!
Fairest of them all. . .
“She dreamed improbable dreams. Followed her heart & created her own little fairytale”
I always wondered what it would feel like to live a real life fairytale. But then I began to wonder what fairytales were portrayed to us as. Each and every fairytale had a perfect princess, who fell in love with a prince and that was her happy ending. But that is not my fairytale, and not my happy ending, and I don’t think that’s yours either. Yes we all crave love, and to be in love, but to call that our happy ending would be spurious because in reality, it’s just the beginning; a new chapter. A happy ending is our entire beautiful journey. It is not only the happy infinite moments, but also the bumps, bruises, and scars along the way. It is those moment that we mend ourselves back together, and we look back months, years later and say, “wow, I overcame that.” A fairytale includes all the small moments of life, a simple glance from a stranger, a precious childhood memory to a warm embrace from a loved one. It also includes big moments like falling in love, heartbreak, and the strength to start over. But most of all, your fairytale begins and ends with you. Falling in love with you is the best fairytale you could ever write. You have the pen in your hand and you have the power and choice to say “I can and I will.” There’s no place I’d rather be than right here in my real, imperfect, beautifully flawed fairytale, beginning and ending with a journey of discovering and finding me.
Being Open. . .
Throughout life, I have wanted this, wanted that, and always had such a tight grip because I wanted my life to be arranged just so. I had many desires and expectations regarding my life and my plan for it. But what I’ve come to realize that the journey is not arranging my life just so, but to continually seeking and being open to find the journey of your soul. Consciously we could become discomforted by the idea of throwing caution to the wind and being open, but if we can see beyond the surface, we can begin to experience with the heart of our souls. We will feel completely empowered by the depth we find. It is here we will learn about power, love, faith, hope, letting go, embracing new, and courage. Opening up is not something that we do a few times in life, but rather, it has to be our way of life. Life is always going to throw us curve balls and make us want to close off, and put up a wall. When we make a commitment to ourselves to be open, no matter what life “does to us,” we are choosing how we want to live. It may be risky to love, to feel, to believe and be open, because at one point in your life you were burned or betrayed. But that insecurity only comes from not trusting and cherishing your own heart. Open your heart and believe. Learn to see life with the heart of your soul and experience your truths and let your soul lead on this beautiful journey of life.
“He sent me out to the ranch so I could see this hardened way of life and learn that some people aren’t given a magical antidote for every problem. These were matters of the heart in many ways but not in the way that I knew the heart. It was strange how being faced with death on a regular basis in the hospital and knowing that I could save a life with my own hands had given me a false sense of what it means to be alive. I was learning that being alive means knowing the threat of dying is there but facing your mortality and moving through it anyway.” – After the Rain by Renee Carlino
After The Rain…
“There are people in this world who have experienced great personal tragedy, some of whom just wither away from the pain or meander through life numb until their time comes to an end…She chose to go on and give it another chance, but I think it took a long time for her to heal and to start growing again. In all my years, I’ve learned that life delivers many storms for us to weather. Some will be slow, brooding, quiet beasts, and others will be loud, thunderous, and frightening. But if you’re willing to look close enough, no matter how devastating the storm may be, after the rain you’ll always find new life sprouting in the aftermath.” – After The Rain
“Every generation likes to think they’re improving upon the last, that progress is inevitable, that the future holds less misery and suffering than the past. But the truth is, some things never change. History has a way of repeating itself. It’s just most people don’t live long enough to see it happen.”
They say one small act can change everything. You can be the change for all generations to come. If perhaps we each showed ourselves more self-love, and self-responsibility, we would truly see what a powerful tool we can obtain. Loving yourself is a powerful force to enact change. Unexpected and painful things happen, and often we just become frustrated by them. Our life takes an unexpected turn, something we didn’t hope for initially, and we lose all self-love. We tell ourselves that we didn’t want this, it’s not fair, and we convince ourselves that this isn’t leading us anywhere. Because our lives turn upside, we turn on ourselves. We ignore all guidance at this time, and most of the time, it is that guidance that we need to get us through this experience. But if we love ourselves through this storm, block, turn, twist, we can hear our heart, and it will surely lead us. We have to keep loving ourselves until we can act on what our heart tells us. We must find the courage to use this powerful force for change. You must love yourself, so that you can stay on the trustworthy path, no matter what life brings. One small step, can change not only your world, but those around you.
“She was unstoppable, not because she did not have failures or doubts, but because she continued on despite them.” -Beau Taplin
It has been over a month since my last post, and I have come to the conclusion that regardless of what I am dealing with, people come to read my blog, and a few rely on it. So putting aside myself, I am back, not because life has been easy, but I want to feel unstoppable. I have put so much pressure on myself these past couple of months, that I realized I needed to ease up on myself. How often do we not know what to do next? If we would all just learn to ease up, we could see how much more we could accomplish. When we are constantly forcing ourselves, the forcing ends up turning into fear. With fear in our way, it is impossible for the right things to evolve. Fear makes us question our motives. We have to train ourselves to learn a different way by relaxing and letting go. The best way is to approach something differently. When fear creeps up on us, acknowledge it, feel it and then let it leave you. You must always participate naturally. Sometimes our minds are cluttered, and we try harder to concentrate, but it is these times we need to ease up on ourselves, so we can truly see how unstoppable we really are. See how much more you accomplish when you just let go.
Ready and Willing
“Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.” – Wayne Dye
How often do we find ourselves, and other saying they want something so bad, yet they are not completely open to accepting it. We let our fears get the best of us and we find ourselves resisting immediately. We need to first help ourselves decide what we want. We need to be completely clear, saying it over and over, writing on places to look at throughout the day, or even telling friends so you can be comfortable with the idea. Once you have established the idea, ask yourself if you are really ready and willing to do whatever it takes? Keep asking yourself that question, watch all the feelings that arise, especially the negative ones. Once you feel them all, just let them go. Just like that imaging yourself sky dive for the first time. You are standing at the door of the plane, talking yourself out of it, but once you let go, you fly. You remove all the obstacles you built up once you just go! Tell yourself that you have what it takes, you have what you need, you are READY AND you are WILLING!!Take a journey inside of your soul and find out what obstacles are holding you back from your visions, and then just like the sky diver, FLY!
Stand in the light
Moments like this give every woman an opportunity to decide what kind of person she wants to be deep down. No matter what face we present to the world, no matter what pain we are hiding, no matter what struggle we have been through. We know our worth. We know what we are capable of. We know who we are, who we will always be and we have a choice. We can hide in the shadows or we can stand in the light. -Scandal ”