Day Nine

Forgiveness to each person in this world is seen and experienced differently. For some it can be an anchor, which grounds you to this earth. To others, a double edged sword, piercing upon entry and exit. But for me, it varies per situation. I wonder often, when I sincerely seeked forgiveness, why was I easily granted it. Although, the damage I did, did not even warrant a response, I was granted one and more. An apology I worked on for at least two years came out as basic and questionable as a generated message on a Hallmark card. A double edge sword, because he forgave me, and even reminded me of my worth, but at the same time said he could not bare to keep a connection. The connection was an impossibility because of all the hurt he had felt. I understood his feelings, and when he said not a day went by since then, that he hadn’t thought about me every single waking moment, him forgiving me made me feel so much worse. And just as that connection was in me, it all faded away with that ending email. To forgive and be forgiven are the experiences which separates the anchor from the double edge sword. When you are forgiven, you are still left with the damage you have inflicted on another being. When you forgive, you feel a period of pain, but let it sink away after time, and you can surely feel grounded again. You are not left with this terrible feeling of regret or uncertainty. The symbol for human beings should be a double infinity, for throughout life we are either seeking to be forgiven or offering forgiveness to others. I find that as we steer through this life, if we are constantly grounded to the idea of the double infinity, forgiving and being forgiven, we could live a more fulfilling life. But first we must learn to practice and accept both. So on your journey today, and this week, think of this concept as you pursue finding a better you. I hope that your journey today brought you a simple walk outdoors, or even a simple moment to be alone with thoughts. You owe it to yourself!

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