“Being the best is not what we desire or yearn for, but trying our hardest and never giving up is our key to success and ecstasy.”
How often do we fuss about things we have to do tomorrow, a week from now, even a month from now. We already want to give up before we have reached our destination. We wonder how we are going to make it there, and how tomorrow’s answers will come. Well I have a secret for you. The only way to make it to your destination is to stay present in each hour of each day. Racing to an invisible finish line, or forcing the process doesn’t move you forward any faster. If you out race yourself, you will skip over parts, and will soon have to return and go through it again. Certain challenges we must push ourselves a little harder, so we don’t get stuck. But hurrying tenses us, and will just hold back our progression. Immersing ourselves and our energy into the present moment will help us succeed, and progress. Focus on today, stay with your heart, stay with the present moment, and tomorrow’s answers will come just as today’s did. Be here now.
“It’s not how we make mistakes, but how we correct them that defines us.”
Do you surround yourself with people who always tell you that you have made the right decision, or are you surrounded by those who will challenge you when you are wrong? You need people around you, who aren’t afraid to ask those difficult challenging questions, and dig a little deeper.You need accountability in your life. You need to be surrounded by people who will look you in the face and say the hardest thing ever, “you are wrong.” When we are off our path, and lost our way, we need these people to remind us of who we are, to encourage us, to challenge us, and to literally call us out! It’s so easy to just be the friend that agrees with everyone, because really it is just easier to ignore it, then address it. Most of us won’t share our problems, or mistakes with others for fear of judgment, or just because we build up our own self-talk. We make our own beliefs about the situation, and convince ourselves of it, even if what we are telling ourselves isn’t particularly true. So maybe you are not surrounded by a group of honest people, do you still lie to yourself and pretend you are fabulous, even though you made an honest mistake and failed? We must correct our mistakes, and assess ourselves with honesty, and without judgement, as hard as that may be. Everyone makes mistakes, every single day, but it is when we hold ourselves accountable for our mistakes, and try to correct them that we can learn from them. Don’t look for those who will only pat you on the back, look for those relationships that are honest and pure, and will help build a better you.
“Everything – our houses, our clothes, our hairstyles – is meant to help us forget ourselves and to protect us from vanity, greed and envy, which are just forms of selfishness. If we have little, and want for little, and we are all equal, we envy no one.”
Laying in the middle of the field late last night watching the full moon, feeling the beaming energy from it’s light, I became utterly lost in the moment. I speak a lot of disconnecting, and last night, I completely got lost in time. I left my phone in the car, went into the middle of the park, and just laid in the grass. I was absorbing each and every moment. The way the clouds were moving, the way the moon was so bright and full, and the crickets sounding. All this true beauty made me think of the “beauty” we surround ourselves with daily. We need to have the biggest house, the best labels, and the newest new of everything! It’s clearly pathetic what we find beauty in now. Teenagers are comparing their newest Ugg’s and iPhone’s. Our society wants, and wants more. We have to constantly be surrounded by possessions, and we think these possessions hold beauty, and have the power to make us beautiful,and powerful. I am finding that the less we have, the more we appreciate everything. It allows us to grow and to define, and redefine what true beauty means. If we just would just appreciate the true beauty around us, we would envy no one, because we would all have the same beauty, and those who have true beauty, hold more power because they can’t be swayed by possessions. They are already full of love, and selflessness. Maybe in our society, it is tremendously difficult to have true beauty all the time, because we are constantly being shoved down with the next best thing. But with every season we should be reminded of how full we could feel by just looking around at what’s free to us, nature.
“One choice, One choice, decided your friends. One choice, defines your beliefs. One choice, determines your loyalties-forever. Once choice can transform you. – Divergent”
Have you ever really sat down and thought about the choices you have made? How you can literally map out how one mistake or one choice determined the next move in your life? I remember my first day of high school. We all piled into the cafeteria, and were told to sit anywhere till our names were called. I recall sitting down at the same table I sat at for the next four years, along with the same group of friends I met on the first day. I often wonder if I had chose differently, if I would have ended up being a sports girl, or a track star. That simple choice, although then I would have never looked at that way, seems huge now! We make so many simple choices daily, but don’t even realize how big of an impact they hold in our lives. The simple choice of looking up at a stranger and smiling can change not only our lives, but their’s as well. One choice can literally transform you. What will you do with your choices today?
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Starting new is an idea a few friends have asked me for advice about. They had this idea of picking up and moving away to start new. I tried to wrap my head around it, but I just don’t see it as starting new. They were trying to escape, bad jobs, daily routines, etc. Moving away to them felt like an easier way to recreate themselves. For me, if they just escaped that bad job, or tried a different routine, they would be creating new moments, which would make a new identity for themselves. Moving away, doesn’t create change within yourself, but you can alter the way new people see you. I meet someone new in a new place, I can literally be whoever I want to be. They don’t know me, and I can establish myself in a different way. But is that really who you are, is it who you are pretending to be, or is it how you would like to see yourself? Everyday that you wake up, you have moments throughout the day to recreate yourself, if you choose to make the effort. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and certainly moving somewhere new doesn’t solve it. How often do we let a routine get the best of us? How often do we say, “oh tomorrow i’ll do that differently?” Tomorrow rolls around, and we have another excuse lined up. People love comfort, and to move outside the comfort zone takes extreme commitment. Starting anything new always is scary, and people tend to run back for the fear they won’t adjust. But if you really think back in your life you will see, you always adjusted, it just takes some time.
“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” —Buddha
Happy September! This weekend has brought me to a place of growth. I took the time to really ponder certain questions a friend had suggested. “Do I want to be right or successful?, Are winning and losing just an illusion? And the last question being, people who have problems, don’t understand their own problems, so how can they understand yours?” We literally are what we think, all day and all night. I use to be a person who would replay a situation in my mind five thousand times, and figure out what I could have done differently. I use to act upon other people’s anger, and actions. But now I am realizing this is not me. Do I want to always be right? We all always want to be right, but I more importantly would rather be successful. So I determined that, by always trying to chose to do the right thing and have that on display, would be better than always having to prove that I was right. Winning and losing are just simply an illusion. You can always find some way to be a winner, but also can find negative points which make you feel like you were really the loser. When it comes to people understanding, as a human we always feel compassionate, but I don’t really think we can ever understand the depth of a problem someone is having. We all have different problems that arise in our lives, but when you are asking someone with their own problems to help you with your’s, it becomes so utterly confusing. Mixed emotions are tied in, and judgment is never clear. Self-reflection I am finding is the best answer. Only you know what the right answer is. Only you know how to solve the problem, and only you can conquer it. Do not be swayed by outside forces, but look within and check with yourself. Most importantly, remember on this new day, of this new month, that this is a new start. You can choose to to be positive, and successful. You are the key holder of your thoughts, choose wisely.
Life can be so frustrating at times, and when our life is filled with hard times, we look around and see others dancing along their path. We see others getting help along the way, and then we turn and see ourselves feeling left out. We look at what we’ve been through, and judge it in a negative light. We look to see the people who weren’t there, and we look to see that the world wasn’t on our side. If we open our eyes though, not only have be given the gift of strength threw these impeccable hard times, but if we just open ourselves up, we can see all the direction, and support we have been given by the world to tune in with ourselves and grow. When we search for one person to resolve our hard times, we miss out on all our own personal gifts. Guidance comes when you trust that the world will be on your side, help comes in those friendships you build, help comes in a smile from a stranger on a bad day, and help comes when you feel the inspiration of others. But mostly importantly, help comes from within. Achieving nothing, is a simple task, it is an empty life, and requires no struggle or pain. Hard times make us gladiators, they provide armor for future battles, and although, hard times open our eyes up, they also guard our hearts. Instead of gazing around at others who could merely be rested and achieving nothing, be a gladiator, and breed only success.
“We do what needs to be done and we don’t question why. We put the personal to the left. We don’t get to have feelings. That’s the job. Gladiators don’t get to have feelings. We rush into battle. We’re soldiers. We get hurt in the fight we suck it up and we hold the line, and we don’t question.”
I use to ride the Metro-North train up to my grandparents house in Connecticut, in the cold snowy winters. To me, the train ride always seemed to be the best part. Gazing outside as the snow drifted along the tracks, and people boarded on and off. It was on these rides I would find myself deep in thought. What did destiny mean to me, would always be a popular discussion in my mind. It confused me as a young girl, because I always thought of destiny as a destination. I always wondered what it would feel like when I reached my destiny, and when that moment came, would that be the only light I would see in my life. As I grew older, I began to realize destiny was more than one destination, it was the moments occurring now. Destiny can be heartache, deep love, unfortunate decisions, happiness, self-discovery or sadness. We have to live each moment, learning each lesson, and learning each person we meet so we can link them all together to create a chain. As we connect each of these defining moments in our lives, we create our destiny. Destiny isn’t some destination or one shining moment for the world to see us how we are, but instead it is present, where we are now.
It has been a really long time since I got personal, or have even posted. My life has been all over the map, but somehow today, it has brought me back here. This quote just hit me hard. One day my body is a certain way, months later it is here. I dropped 35 pounds, not because I wanted too, but because I got so sick,(Stomach issues). I not only felt like I wasn’t myself, my clothes were falling off, nothing fit, and I felt like I needed to try my hardest to get back. So I ate only healthy foods, lots of almond butter, lots of smoothies packed with healthy fats, salads, beans, eggs and lots of protein shakes. I started to gain, so so so slowly. Progress was taking so long, and I was becoming discouraged, but I never gave up. People everyday talk about “how do I lose weight I’m so miserable, need to lose 5 pounds.” Here I was trying to gain back 35, and not by eating McDonalds and meat, but by eating healthy. Everyday I looked in the mirror, was looking for that beautiful body that I once picked at for every little imperfection. I would take all those imperfections back. But I only fought harder, I was determined. I am about 10 pounds shy of my weight, but I have been lifting heavier weights when my body permits it, and my body is coming back better then ever. For those out there who constantly nit pick at the imperfections, instead of doing so, just exercise. Once you get your head in the game, you will see those imperfections disappear. My journey is not over, but I am thankful for the beauty that I can look in the mirror and see. I am also thankful that I know that I worked hard for this! So here’s to us!
“In the end, these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?” – Buddha
It has been a hectic two weeks for me, hence my absence. I was fortunate enough this evening to get a moment of solitude in the park near my house. I was able to completely empty my mind, and write freely. I have never shared my writing here, but here goes nothing!!
A gentle warm breeze fills the air as the sun starts to dim down behind the trees. The lamp posts flicker on and the sounds of gravel brushing off the runners shoes sound the park. The lake is rippling from the breeze, but it still looks completely calm. I am propped up on a bench under a tree which is swaying. I gaze far out beyond the lake to the other side and reminisce. I am brought back to a time which clouds my mind with compelling memories but I quickly forced them out of my head. Lovers stroll holding hands, as lovers tend to do. But I am more interested in the runners, and what has brought them here to this park tonight. Is it the same intentions I have brought with me, in hopes to escape bad memories, or is it the solitude of this summer night? When I close my eyes, I can bring myself to any place, but still I am brought to these same memories again. The harder I pushed them away, the faster they came plummeting in my lap.
My question for you today, which is a self reflection, “how well do you love, how fully do you life, and how deeply do you let go?”